Love is a threat, to be paid off....

in competition with my other ambitions...
We human beings are dangerous weapons...
if we are weak...

Wet chestnut leaves stuck to the cobbled pavement.

I am staring up at the high grey walls
shuttered windows i had pictured in my dreams.
I remain faithful in my wanderings.
No substitutes.

I had watched my back....
sat in coffee shops, observed cars,
fishermen, cyclists...
I had walked through classical gardens
perched on benches.

The sounds of piano grew a little louder.
The views of the Seine through the windows
at each half lending.
I am nervous, cause i am not John.....
I see views of several rivers at once.
The one fast flowing,
another calm.
A third strict as a canal. 
Brown skinned children watched me from a doorway.
A young girl in the bright cottons,
flitted past me on her way...

Lovers arm in arm.

Accept me....

The hills darkened as i drove

the roads grew deeper
the rock peaks of the hilltops were blackened
.....as if burned...
Stone walls enclosed

med me.
I entered a village of slate roofs
crumbling walls, old car tyres
plastic bags.
Piglets and hens wandered in my path,
inquisitive sheep eyed me.....
but i saw no human soul...

I drove over humbacked hills
into a plantation of blue conifers
that turned green
then polka dot.

The road became a track.
I crossed a ford and entered a rural slum of rotting cauliflowers.

Hard jawed children watched me
from the threshold of a tin shed.
I crossed a second stream or the same one.

Someone was facing me...
God?

The stone walls gave way

I was flying over wide valleys
patched with sun
crossed with streams...
Chestnut horses grazed in perfect rectangular meadows.....

In my apprehension everything was too late...
I sensed despair...
Why had i never played here as a kid...
walked as a boy?
Run in that field, lived in that cottage...
These colours, why had i never painted them?
You were all thes hopes....